


lining's silver, grass is greener, and I'm on my way

by kritterkit (Kittog)



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies), To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han
Genre: Coming of Age, F/F, Fluff, i just think lara jean should have had her lesbian awakening this time around, set during Always and Forever Lara Jean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittog/pseuds/kritterkit
Summary: Lara Jean realises she's been all wrong the minute they step into the city.
Relationships: Genevieve "Gen"/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Comments: 16
Kudos: 89





	lining's silver, grass is greener, and I'm on my way

**Author's Note:**

> kinda had an epiphany this afternoon while watching the finale. enjoy? 
> 
> title from switchblade by niki. thought it'd be fitting.

Lara Jean realises she's been all wrong the minute they step into the city. She's never felt so small walking in the streets, eyes looking out for the tip of the skyscrapers cornering her. The streets are full and lively: endless flows of pedestrians walk by them, following an unfamiliar motion.

Lara Jean's eyes get wider as they explore the city, losing themselves between the most touristic and crowded spots and the more authentic sides of the megalopolis. She tries to absorb as many things as she can with her dark irises and soon becomes drunk off her fantasies. She's so ecstatic her heart could explode through her chest, excitement spilling out of it, clutching to her feet.

It definitely gets worse when she tumbles onto NYU's campus alongside Chris. She feels as if new doors have revealed themselves to her, each of them looking as inviting as the other. None of them had entered the frame of her mind until now, which makes her even more confused.

NYU has never once been considered as an option—Lara Jean's application had been nothing but a formality, a mere act of politeness. But as the magnificent campus unveils itself before her eyes, she gets to grasp a new timeline for her life, one she could fully blossom along.

Though she doesn't share her newly found joy, it's hard to miss. Chris takes it as a sign to explore the city even further and take her onto impromptu adventures, while Lucas sells her about the marvellous stories they could live all together in the Big Apple.

Peter doesn't see a thing though. Not that she'd expected him to anyway.

However, Gen sees it all. She reads through the sparkles which enlighten her pupils, cocks her head, curious but appreciative. There's something brighter about her as well: as if realising her old friend's sudden realisation had lit up her heart.

Through the hours which make their field trip, Lara Jean's crush for New York remains a secret between the two of them.

"This could be us next year, you know," Gen whispers through a shy awkward smile.

They're stuck in a bright pink couch in the middle of the subway, with a brochette of freshly found college pals. Time goes by at an infuriating pace in those long parallel streets, and Lara Jean dreads the moment they'll have to throw back their clothes messily in their small luggage.

She turns towards Gen, a bright pink blush colouring her tanned cheeks, unable to remember the last time they've been so close to one another. The big blue eyes which face her dark pupils are like an ocean she would lovingly swim into for hours. Her gaze is soft and soothing, nothing liked the piercing glares she'd give Chris and Lara Jean in the hallways whenever she had the chance.

Lara Jean hums along with a nod. _This_ could be them next year.

She isn't sure she ever wants to come home again.

* * *

Lara Jean would have probably killed Kitty if the letter from NYU hadn't been positive. But here she is, baking cookies, the same she's been baking for years, with her mother, with Margot, all on her own between the large walls of their kitchen, with a large royal blue envelope coming with an answer she's been dying to know about for _days_.

Her mind is a blend of odd certainties and intrusive doubts.

She should think about Peter. She should think about the three thousand miles and the three-hour-long time difference which would stretch them apart in a couple of months, about the complications of their so-called precious relationship, about the tears which could fall down her boyfriend's face when he'll find out.

But Lara Jean thinks about herself. She thinks about the way she could bloom so prettily between the oak trees in Central Park, about the delightful skyline she'll get to live within, about her studies, her success and—

And Lara Jean thinks about Gen. She sees her round ocean eyes in the back of her mind, loving.

She's so flustered at the thought her cookies spend quite some time as a dough.

Guilt never catches her.

"I got in NYU."

Gen fails to contain the extensive smile which spreads itself across her lips. Lara Jean's heart bursts at the sight because it's so very lovely and endearing. Words struggle to fall from her mouth: she isn't so sure what she should say, she needs an answer, an opinion, some kind of advice.

"That's—that's amazing Lara Jean," Gen lets out—there's relief in her voice as if she had also been waiting to hear those words. A pause. "Isn't it? That's a good thing, right?"

"Do you think it's a good idea though? Should I really do that?"

The space between them is filled with the sound of heels hitting the floor and louder chats held through the hallway.

"Why shouldn't you? You loved the city and the campus, NYU was literally made for you, Lara Jean."

"But Peter—"

Gen doesn't answer to the way too familiar name. She just shakes her head, disapprovingly.

Whatever that meant, Lara Jean agrees.

* * *

When prom comes around, Lara Jean's feelings for Peter have been long washed away. There's barely a hint of them left in her—Peter seems absolutely oblivious (Lara Jean is quite the actress), however, though he looks confused at times at Covey's lack of answers and presence throughout their last moments as seniors. 

Each corner of her mind is full of saturated fantasies, full of light and full of Gen. She despises the life Peter once promised her, the one her old-self was once convinced by. 

She's lucky Gen reads her mind so easily, living in your head never does too much good.

Peter is too busy taking memorable Prom King shots when Gen finds her, sitting on her own, far from the loudness of the dancefloor.

Gen's dress is just as dreamy as her eyes—Lara Jean falls for the lovely glitter sprinkled all over the pastel blue fabric. A sigh escapes Lara Jean's lips as she can't help but feel out place: her dress is a little over the top, her dark lock torn in odd-looking waves and none of it matches.

Gen's delicate fingers reach for hers.

"Shall we dance?"

Sparks burst through Lara Jean all over again.

* * *

They spend the summer together. Peter doesn't even try to stop them—it seems that he gave up on Lara Jean as one gives up on any random highschool acquaintance: without a single goodbye.

And so they plan everything. They share each of their fantasies and soon-to-become dreams to one another, fueled by their overwhelming excitement. They lose hours in the kitchen baking cookies, cheesecakes, and muffins, try out recipes they hadn't envisioned until then. The domesticity behind their shared afternoons brings them closer each day.

They also kiss. The first time it happens, Gen is thumbing Lara Jean's lower lip, apparently dusted with flour. It doesn't take too long before their lips meet, followed by sweet whispers. Lara Jean appreciates each attention with the greatest care.

And then they leave. It's quite the trip, but Lara Jean's never been so ready. She holds Gen's hand tight once they're settled in their seats, keeping it close as though it's the most precious thing she's ever held.

Their hearts rise in their chests as their plane takes off, a new chapter of their lives unveiling itself.

Above them, the skies are vast and welcoming.

**Author's Note:**

> i needed to get this one off my mind. 
> 
> hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! comments&kudos are very welcome! join the Lesbian Lara Jean Agenda today! 
> 
> come yell (or talk!! I'm good with talking too) on [twitter](twitter.com/kittog__) and/or [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/kittog)


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